Junky Chimpanzee

29 May 2022
29 May 2022
4 min read

I am constantly aware of maintaining a clear mind. It sounds quite stupid. How is it possible that maintaining a clear mind merits such a degree of energy and focus? Why is it so hard to stay in control of the cacophonous orchestra that is your mind?

I now like to thing of the person I know myself to be as a collection of different identities. You might have 4 or 5, I might have 6 or simply 2. But you can distill how your mind feels all the time into a set of simple, discrete actors. I think my mind has two main actors; one which is me and one which we all share:

  1. The focused, deliberate hacker that lives to loose track of time finding the most clever way to solve a problem. (Me)
  2. And then you have the shitty chimpanzee . I like to call it junky chimpanzee.

I’m sure you know what its like to be the junky chimpanzee version of yourself. It’s that gluttonous, lustful, uninhibited version of you that is so unhinged. The pleasure seeking addict that just wants its next dopamine hit. And we all hate this feeling like that but somehow or another we find ourselves in that state. But I now know how to stop it.

The only thing I have to do is focus on being present. Fucking present. Again, sounds stupid right? But I think its quite powerful. The only way to stay present is to focus. Truly think about what you are feeling and the actions you are taking.

Being present is pretty simple but it’s also one of the most elusive things to achieve. It’s the ability to fully engage with the present moment, without being distracted by thoughts of the past or worries about the future. It is highly coveted because it allows us to experience life in a more meaningful way, but it’s also weirdly hard to achieve.

One of the reasons why being present is so difficult is because we live in a world that is constantly pulling us in different directions. We have so many distractions vying for our attention, from social media notifications to work emails to the constant barrage of news updates. It’s easy to get caught up in all of these things and lose sight of the present moment.

When we’re fully engaged with the present moment, we’re able to experience life in a more meaningful way. We’re able to appreciate the beauty of the world around us, connect more deeply with the people in our lives, and find joy in the simple things. We are conscious of our thoughts and our actions follow suit.

So how can we become more present? One of the most effective ways is to practice mindfulness. Again, I hate the word mindfulness. Just. Pay. Attention. This involves paying attention to the present moment, without judgment or distraction. It can be as simple as taking a few deep breaths and focusing on the sensations in your body, or it can involve more structured practices like meditation or yoga.

But the best way is to just limit your exposure to distractions. This might mean turning off your phone for a few hours each day. Or not eating any sugar that makes you act like a chimp. Or by creating space for yourself to just be in the moment, you’ll be more likely to experience the benefits of being present.

Realize how simple it is. Just pay attention. And strip away absolutely everything that makes your mind not pay attention. Sadly, most of the things that make you feel cheap pleasure all bring about the junky chimpanzee. Throw away those chocolates. Cancel your netflix subscription. Delete instagram. You’ll notice the chimpanzee stops coming and you feel more and more like yourself.

So just do 2 things:

  1. Mercilessly get rid of al the things that make you loose control. If this feels hard, then you don’t like being yourself quite enough.
  2. Just sit on the floor and feel what it feels like to be you. Practice being present so you go can back to it all the time.

And I swear all your problems will slowly go away.


Sharing my mind